First blog post

BECOMING AN ADULT

Most teenagers (including myself) can’t wait for the adulthood mostly because of independence. An now we’re getting it,  we’re piled up with stress, money issues, the need to become successful and all that.

The passage into adulthood is frightening; finishing school, gaining the independence we always wanted, the job searching, wanting all that to fit in with our social life, relationship and all.

The dreams and goals we’ve always had, it is time to achieve it. The want for a perfect life, frustration when things don’t go the way we want. But we forget something; life is not perfect.

We forget that even our parents never had the perfect life, forget now is the time to make mistakes and learn from them. Even our religious beliefs are cast aside for the need to become successful.

I had my wake up call and decided to help those struggling with life. I’m not saying we should give up, hell no, we should still struggle. Am saying we should start now to have a positive attitude to life. We should create our memories so that when we look back we smile and keep going, knowing that life dealt with us but we are still going.

The journey of life isn’t easy but I’ve learnt to take it a day at a time and hope you do too.

Nancy Okoro

To every woman out there

*To All Women* 
Be an *Esther*, bold and courageous enough to stand for the truth, to voice your opinion and fight for the good of others, even when it means to sacrifice yourself. If God has put you in a position, it is for a purpose. Never be afraid to heed to that inner voice. 
Be a *Ruth*, loyal in all your relationships, walk the extra mile and don’t quit when things get tough. Someday, you’ll see why it was all worth the effort. 
Be a *Lydia*, let your homes be open, let your hands be generous, let your hearts be big enough to help anyone in need. Joy is greatest when shared. 
Be a *Hannah*, never cease to pray. It will never be in vain. 
Be a *Mary*, humble and submissive. You don’t have to be great for God to use you, you just need to obey. 
Be a *Dorcas*, use your talents, however small it may seem to bring a smile on someone’s face. You’ll never know how much it can mean to someone. 
Be an *Abigail*, remember how each decision can turn your life around for good or bad. Be wise. 
Be an *Elizabeth*, never doubt what God can do. Miracles do happen. 
Be a *Mary Magdalene*, never let your mistakes and judgments of other people stop you from experiencing true joy in Jesus. 
Be a *Rebekah*, never forget that true beauty lies within. Draw your man closer to God through your character.
Lastly be *Sarah*, age doesn’t matter, Trust & believe.  All is possible with God.

To all ladies out there , be strong, be fabulous, be you. 

#imperfectly perfect. 

Borderline personality disorder

I love surfing the net, it’s my kryptonite next to reading. People say it’s a bad thing; “Nancy, you’re addicted to your phone, drop it”, “Nancy, your Phone is your only friend, stop making yourself a loner”. But people don’t know that my love for knowledge lead to my love for reading, watching documentaries and surfing the net. 

It was a normal day I was reading a novel online and came across a disorder people live with but might not know. You might have written off a person as too bipolar for your taste not knowing that he or she is dying inside not knowing how to reach out, borderline personality disorder is the cause. But let’s understand what BPD is first.

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a serious mental illness that centers on the inability to manage emotions effectively. The disorder occurs in the context of relationships: sometimes all relationships are affected, sometimes only one. It usually begins during adolescence or early adulthood.

While some persons with BPD are high functioning in certain settings, their private lives may be in turmoil. Most people who have BPD suffer from problems regulating their emotions and thoughts, impulsive and sometimes reckless behavior, and unstable relationships

Other disorders, such as depression, anxiety disorders, eating disorders, substance abuse and other personality disorders can often exist along with BPD

The diagnosis of BPD is frequently missed and a misdiagnosis of BPD has been shown to delay and/or prevent recovery. Bipolar disorder is one example of a misdiagnosis as it also includes mood instability. There are important differences between these conditions but both involve unstable moods. For the person with bipolar disorder, the mood changes exist for weeks or even months. The mood changes in BPD are much shorter and can even occur within the day.

Officially recognized in 1980 by the psychiatric community, BPD is more than two decades behind in research, treatment options, and family psycho-education compared to other major psychiatric disorders. BPD has historically met with widespread misunderstanding and blatant stigma. However, evidenced-based treatments have emerged over the past two decades bringing hope to those diagnosed with the disorder and their loved ones.
Incidence

* BPD affects 5.9% of adults (about 14 million Americans) at some time in their life

* BPD affects 50% more people than Alzheimer’s disease and nearly as many as schizophrenia and bipolar combined (2.25%).

* BPD affects 20% of patients admitted to psychiatric hospitals

* BPD affects 10% of people in outpatient mental health treatment
Causes Of Borderline Personality Disorder 

Research on the causes and risk factors for BPD is still in its early stages. However, scientists generally agree that genetic and environmental influences are likely to be involved. Certain events during childhood may also play a role in the development of the disorder, such as those involving emotional, physical and sexual abuse. Loss, neglect and bullying may also contribute. The current theory is that some people are more likely to develop BPD due to their biology or genetics and harmful childhood experiences can further increase the risk.

What Does “Borderline Personality Disorder” Mean?

Historically, the term “borderline” has been the subject of much debate. BPD used to be considered on the “borderline” between psychosis and neurosis. The name stuck, even though it doesn’t describe the condition very well and, in fact, may be more harmful than helpful. The term “borderline” also has a history of misuse and prejudice—BPD is a clinical diagnosis, not a judgment.

Current ideas about the condition focus on ongoing patterns of difficulty with self-regulation (the ability to soothe oneself in times of stress) and trouble with emotions, thinking, behaviors, relationships and self-image. Some people refer to BPD as “Emotion Disregulation”

Borderline personality disorder is a mental illness marked by an ongoing pattern of varying moods, self-image, and behavior. These symptoms often result in impulsive actions and problems in relationships. People with borderline personality disorder may experience intense episodes of anger, depression, and anxiety that can last from a few hours to days.
Symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder

Borderline personality disorder symptoms vary from person to person and women are more likely to have this disorder than men. Common symptoms of the disorder include the following:

Having an unstable or dysfunctional self-image or a distorted sense of self (how one feels about one’s self)

Feelings of isolation, boredom and emptiness

Difficulty feeling empathy for others

A history of unstable relationships that can change drastically from intense love and idealization to intense hate

A persistent fear of abandonment and rejection, including extreme emotional reactions to real and even perceived abandonment

Intense, highly changeable moods that can last for several days or for just a few hours

Strong feelings of anxiety, worry and depression

Impulsive, risky, self-destructive and dangerous behaviors, including reckless driving, drug or alcohol abuse and having unsafe sex

Hostility

Unstable career plans, goals and aspirations

Many people experience one or more of the above symptoms regularly, but a person with borderline personality disorder will experience many of the symptoms listed above consistently throughout adulthood.

The term “borderline” refers to that fact that people with this condition tend to “border” on being diagnosed with additional mental health conditions in their lifetime, including psychosis.

One of the ironies of this disorder is that people with BPD may crave closeness, but their intense and unstable emotional responses tend to alienate others, causing long-term feelings of isolation.
Borderline Personality Disorder and Suicidality

Around 80 percent of people with borderline personality disorder display suicidal behaviors, including suicide attempts, cutting themselves, burning themselves, and other self-destructive acts. It is estimated that between 4 and 9 percent of people with BPD will die by suicide.

Tests and Diagnosis

A licensed mental health professional—such as a psychiatrist, psychologist, or clinical social worker—experienced in diagnosing and treating mental disorders can diagnose borderline personality disorder by:

• Completing a thorough interview, including a discussion about symptoms

• Performing a careful and thorough medical exam, which can help rule out other possible causes of symptoms

• Asking about family medical histories, including any history of mental illness

Borderline personality disorder often occurs with other mental illnesses. Co-occurring disorders can make it harder to diagnose and treat borderline personality disorder, especially if symptoms of other illnesses overlap with the symptoms of borderline personality disorder. For example, a person with borderline personality disorder may be more likely to also experience symptoms of depression, bipolar disorder, anxiety disorders, substance use disorders, or eating disorders.

Medications

Because the benefits are unclear, medications are not typically used as the primary treatment for borderline personality disorder. However, in some cases, a psychiatrist may recommend medications to treat specific symptoms such as:

• mood swings

• depression

• other co-occurring mental disorders

Treatment with medications may require care from more than one medical professional.

Certain medications can cause different side effects in different people. Talk to your doctor about what to expect from a particular medication. 

Help for Borderline Personality Disorder

Living with borderline personality disorder, or being in a relationship with someone who has BPD, can be stressful. It can be very difficult to acknowledge and accept the reality of BPD, but treatment may help.

If you are concerned that you, or that someone you care about, may have borderline personality disorder, contact a licensed mental health professional. Many supportive healthcare professionals are available to help you get started on the path to healing. Since BPD can be a complex condition, and treatment usually requires long-term talk therapy, it will be important to find a mental health professional who has expertise in treating this condition.

It is possible to learn how to manage feelings better and find ways to have healthier and more rewarding relationships. With the help of talk therapy, one can learn how to reduce impulsive and self-destructive behaviors and understand more about the condition. With a commitment to long-term treatment, positive and healthy change is within reach.

Psychotherapy

Psychotherapy is the first-line treatment for people with borderline personality disorder. A therapist can provide one-on-one treatment between the therapist and patient, or treatment in a group setting. Therapist-led group sessions may help teach people with borderline personality disorder how to interact with others and how to effectively express themselves.

It is important that people in therapy get along with, and trust their therapist. The very nature of borderline personality disorder can make it difficult for people with the disorder to maintain a comfortable and trusting bond with their therapist.

Two examples of psychotherapies used to treat borderline personality disorder include:

• Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT): This type of therapy was developed for individuals with borderline personality disorder. DBT uses concepts of mindfulness and acceptance or being aware of and attentive to the current situation and emotional state. DBT also teaches skills that can help:

• Control intense emotions

• Reduce self-destructive behaviors

• Improve relationships
• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): This type of therapy can help people with borderline personality disorder identify and change core beliefs and behaviors that underlie inaccurate perceptions of themselves and others, and problems interacting with others. CBT may help reduce a range of mood and anxiety symptoms and reduce the number of suicidal or self-harming behaviors.

Prognosis

Research has shown that outcomes can be quite good for people with BPD, particularly if they are engaged in treatment. With specialized therapy, most people with borderline personality disorder find their symptoms are reduced and their lives are improved. Although not all the symptoms may ease, there is often a major decrease in problem behaviors and suffering. Under stress, some symptoms may come back. When this happens, people with BPD should return to therapy and other kinds of support.

Many individuals with BPD experience a decrease in their impulsive behavior in their 40’s.

WHAT POETRY WANTS

Listen to your imagination 
Listen and understand what it says .

Pay attention to the words it preaches 

Flow with the tide of the river without banks. 

Don’t swim, flow; don’t talk, listen. 

Poetry speaks in images 

And words decipherable to even the clueless 

Just listen. 

Poetry creates words and graphics 

And not boring figures of speech. 

Poetry is an expression of the deep within 

Not a web of confusing grammatical technicalities.

A poet carries the heavy burden of 

Messages waiting to be understood. 

The poet is not an author of confusion 

But a bearer of fantastical verity. 

A poet begs to be heard

Not for professional analysis of 

his mood and background .

Poetry teaches the obvious. 

Just listen, read and search within.

For in the head of every thinker

A poet begs to be heard.

©Larry

Food for thought

At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves children with learning disabilities, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question:

 

‘When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does, is done with perfection.
Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do.
Where is the natural order of things in my son?’
The audience was stilled by the query.
The father continued. ‘I believe that when a child like Shay, who was mentally and physically disabled comes into the world, an opportunity to realise true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.’
 

Then he told the following story:
Shay and I had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, ‘Do you think they’ll let me play?’ 
I knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but as a father I also understood that if my son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.
I approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, ‘We’re losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we’ll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.’
Shay struggled over to the team’s bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. I watched with a small tear in my eye and warmth in my heart. The boys saw my joy at my son being accepted.

 

In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay’s team scored a few runs, but was still behind by three.
In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as I waved to him from the stands.
In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay’s team scored again.
Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.
At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game?
Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn’t even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.
However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognising that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay’s life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact.
The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed.
The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay.
As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.
The game would now be over.
The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman.
Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.
Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman’s head, out of reach of all team mates.
Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, ‘Shay, run to first! Run to first!’
Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base.
He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.
Everyone yelled, ‘Run to second, run to second!’
Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base.
By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball. The smallest guy on their team now had his first chance to be the hero for his team.
He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher’s intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman’s head.
Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.

All were screaming, ‘Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay’. 
Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, ‘Run to third! Shay, run to third!’
As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, ‘Shay, run home! Run home!’
Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team. 

 

‘That day’, said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, ‘the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world’.
Shay didn’t make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making me so happy, and coming home and seeing his mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!
AND NOW A LITTLE FOOT NOTE TO THIS STORY:
We all send thousands of jokes through the e-mail without a second thought, but when it comes to sending messages about life choices, people hesitate.

 

The crude, vulgar, and often obscene pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion about decency is too often suppressed in our schools and workplaces.
If you are thinking about forwarding this message, chances are that you are probably sorting out the people in your address book who aren’t the ‘appropriate’ ones to receive this type of message. Well, the person who sent you this believes that we all can make a difference.
We all have thousands of opportunities every single day to help realise the ‘natural order of things.’
So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people present us with a choice. 
Do we pass along a little spark of love and humanity or do we pass up those opportunities and leave the world a little bit colder in the process?
A wise man once said, “Every society is judged by how it treats it’s least fortunate amongst them”.

May your day be wonderful !
In thought of the children or people with disabilities all over the world.

Illiteracy

Illiteracy is a state whereby one is unable to read and write. In its simplest form, it can be defined as lack of any or sufficient education.

Sometimes people who have had very basic education also experience challenges in reading and writing.

Illiteracy can also mean ignorance or the lack of knowledge in a specific subject. For example, a person may have gone to school but does not know how to operate a computer. Such an individual has no literacy in computer and is known as computer illiterate. Nearly every job advertised requires one to have computer literacy due to the digitization of most processes at the workplace.

A mistake in reading or writing that is seen to be characteristic of an illiterate person is also referred to as illiteracy. For this definition, a speech or letter that has several errors can be said to be full of illiteracies.

Functional illiteracy, on the other hand, is used to describe a situation where a person has writing and reading skills considered inadequate to perform employment duties that demand reading and writing skills that go beyond the basic level.

The challenges of illiteracy cut across:

*Gender

*Age

*Race

*Geographical location

*Cultures

causes of illiteracy:

There are so many reasons why an individual can be illiterate. These are some of the causes of the inability to read or write:

1. Illiteracy among parents: Many illiterate parents do not put much emphasis on the importance of education. Several of those born to parents who can neither read nor write end up being illiterate. This is especially true in remote areas where many people in the older generation have not gone through formal education. The reverse is true for those who have been brought up by parents with an elaborate educational background. They realize the necessity of taking their children to school and therefore ensure that they receive a good education.

2. Lack of family support: This can be the cause of illiteracy more so where a child has difficulty reading or writing because of dyslexia. In a situation where the family does not understand the child’s condition, it may simply be assumed that he or she is not a bright person and maybe school is not meant for everyone. Supportive family members help a child overcome reading disability and go through formal education with minimal challenges.

3. Unemployment of the educated: Some people believe that the only reason someone should go to school is so that he or she can get a good job and make a good life. Without the promise of employment, education is not a necessity to them. In a country where many of the educated are unemployed, there may not be enough motivation for the illiterate to go to school. After all, they reckon, why would you spend so much money paying for your education when there is no promise of a return on investment? In countries where those who have gone to school have good jobs and reasonable incomes, there may be sufficient motivating factors for people to get rid of illiteracy.

4. Lack of awareness: In places where several members of the local population do not understand why it is important for them to go to school, the level of illiteracy may be high. Disinterest in the benefits of formal learning can also be caused by lack of awareness on the importance of going to school. The number of illiterate people in urban areas tends to be lower than that of those in rural areas. People in towns are more aware of the need to eliminate illiteracy, the challenges that arise from lack of education and the social benefits of being literate compared to those who live in the remote place.

5. Social barriers: Many social barriers such as restrictions on girls’ education in some societies lead to illiteracy among the affected segment of the population. Education of the girl child has been an issue in some parts of the world leading to the formation of different organizations focused on championing the education of women. Forcing children into marriage is another social issue that causes illiteracy in the community. Family or social norms where female education is not allowed also causes illiteracy. In societies where the caste system is still in force, those who fall into the wrong caste may not get the opportunity to go to school. They are condemned at birth to remain illiterate.

6. Lack of affordable education facilities: Those who live in very remote areas with few or no education facilities may remain illiterate. The nearest school might be found several miles away. Instead of going through the tiresome process of walking for long distances on a daily basis just to go to school, many choose to stay at home. Lack of access to education facilities in rural areas has contributed a lot to the high number of illiterate people in these places.

7. Poverty: Poor parents with low incomes find it difficult to pay school fees. They are forced to choose between providing basic needs such as food, shelter and clothing and taking their children to school. In countries where basic education is not free, the number of children who do not go to school tends to be higher compared to places where basic education is free and mandatory.

Consequences and effects of illiteracy:

What are the consequences of Illiteracy? How does illiteracy affect the life of an individual and the society? These are some of the effects and consequences of the inability to read and write:

1. Hinders economic and social progress: Illiteracy greatly inhibits the economic and social progress of an individual as well as that of the country. Education gives one the power to seek opportunities and pursue them. People who have gone to school or are well educated have the expertise and intelligence to make good investment decisions and drive the growth agenda of a nation. Illiteracy, therefore, hinders the development of the country.

2. Poverty: Illiteracy leads to poverty. Education equips one with the right skills and expertise for gainful employment. A person who has not gone to school and is unable to read and write may experience a hard time in finding a job especially in a world where the corporate environment is increasingly in demand for employees who are well-trained and can cope with an industry driven by technology. Without a reasonable source of income, taking care of the dependent family members may prove to be difficult.

3. Child marriage: This is also a problem that may come about due to illiteracy. Parents may fail to recognize the benefits of taking children to school to learn how to read and write. Instead, the girl child may be forced into early marriage. It may also be a means of raising money through dowry payments to support the rest of the family members. In a way, the girl child is viewed as a property in some cultures. They can be traded to help the family make ends meet. The practice is especially rampant in areas where a lot of people have not gone to school.

4. Difficult life: An illiterate person can lead a difficult life in so many ways. The inability to find gainful employment can subject one to a life of poverty with poor living conditions. There can be a lack of basic necessities such as good shelter, clothing and decent meals. Illiteracy can also make one a societal misfit more so in areas where many people have gone to school and have the ability to read and write. Such a person can be the center of ridicule and suffer from stress and low self-esteem. Without the ability to read and write, it can be hard to read instructions which in some cases may have dire consequences. They say ignorance is bliss but that is not true when a person’s life is on the line.

5. Social crimes: Through education, a person can cultivate some civic sense and develop behavior patterns that are socially acceptable. Illiterate people may engage in unlawful acts in the society due to lack of employment or simply as a result of being uncultured. In countries where the number of those who have not gone to school is high, social crime levels also tend to be high.

6. Underpayment, Underemployment, Unemployment: We live in a world where the job market favors people who are properly educated with useful skills to drive company growth. Many illiterate people are thus underpaid, underemployed or unemployed. They are unable to earn income and in many cases perform a lot of duties with little pay.

7. Intergenerational Illiteracy: The issue of illiteracy can cut across generations within a family. It can become cyclic in such a way that even the third or fourth generation family members suffer the same fate. Intergenerational Illiteracy mainly comes about because education is given little to no value in the family setup. The children that come along will thus see illiteracy as the norm and not make any effort to learn how to read and write.

What are the possible solutions to stop or control illiteracy?

1. Free education: The provision of free education in schools, colleges, and universities by the government can play a major role in reducing the level of illiteracy in a country by getting more people to school. Since some people fail to attend school due to lack of money to pay for the fees, offering free education can increase the number of people attending school and subsequently reduce illiteracy levels within a society.

2. Awareness: Creating awareness about the importance of education can help people understand why they need to go to school. Non-governmental organizations, government agencies, and other concerned parties should put in place deliberate measures to create awareness in the society and reduce the number of people who are unable to read and write.

3. Grants: Offering grants, subsidies, and scholarships can reduce the financial burden that parents and students bear in paying for education. It would make it possible for students to learn without interrupting their education due to lack of school fees. Parents would also channel the money that would have been used to pay for school fees towards other income generating projects. The cost of financing education can prove to be too high especially for those who live in poverty.

4. Late night classes: Working people can opt for late night classes. In this way, they can learn even as they earn income through their daytime jobs.

5. Free books: The government and different foundations can offer free books in schools to encourage students to develop a reading culture. Offering free books can also reduce the financial burden placed on parents in the provision of textbooks.

6. Digitization: Since we live in the age of technology and information, creating digital platforms for reading and learning can help reduce illiteracy in the society. It can also help take care of the challenge of shortage of education facilities. Digital libraries can provide a good platform for those who live far away from urban centers to expand their knowledge base and become more informed.

7. Lower educational cost: Even though education has its rewards, it is very costly to finance. Many graduates usually leave school with huge debts in the form of student loans. It makes saving and investing difficult. The cost of university education has been a key political and social issue in many nations. By lowering the cost of education, the government can make it easier for people to study up to the highest level possible.

Conclusion

The value of education cannot be underestimated. Many people like to think of it merely as a process to gain skills and expertise necessary for the job market. Even though education gives an individual a competitive advantage in the job market, that is not all that it does. Going to schools plays a major role in the mental as well as social development of a person. The lessons learned and the experiences that a person goes through while in school prepares him or her for life in the society. One can learn problem-solving skills and develop social intelligence necessary to overcome everyday life challenges. Illiteracy, therefore, has no room in the modern society. The more the number of people who have gone to school, the better the community. Everyone should aspire to be educated and gain knowledge because of the important benefits of being.

Let’s make the world a better place, it starts from you and me. 

Autism

Picture this:
 Sam bites things when he is upset. This has led to more than one broken phone when we weren’t paying enough attention. On one occasion, he took a drinking glass and bit clear through it, cutting his lip. We had to quickly get him away from the broken glass and make sure that he didn’t swallow any of it.

There was a similar incident in which Sam had a handful of popcorn kernels in his mouth, and when I tried to fish them out, he bit down on my finger — hard. Like, bear trap hard. My wife was outside and couldn’t hear me screaming for help. I tried to massage his mouth and pleaded with him to stop, but to no avail. It was very hard to remain calm and not do anything rash until he finally settled down and released me.

This is a testimony of a father with an autistic child. Seems scary doesn’t it? But what is autism? 

Autism is a developmental disorder that appears in early childhood. Autism is the most common condition in a related constellation of disorders known as autism spectrum disorders, also called ASDs. Other autism spectrum disorders include Asperger’s syndrome and pervasive developmental disorder, or PDD. Autism and other autism spectrum disorders can be difficult to diagnose, because the symptoms and degree of impairment — ranging from mild to severe — are different for every child.

Some features of autism include:

*Social withdrawal.

*Verbal or nonverbal communication problem.

*Rigid and repetitive behavior.

In severe cases, an autistic child may never learn to speak or make eye contact. But many children with autism and other autism spectrum disorders are able to live relatively normal lives. 

Autism is caused by a combination of genetic and environmental factors. Some cases are strongly associated with certain infections during pregnancy including rubella and use of alcohol or cocaine. Controversies surround other proposed environmental causes; for example the vaccine hypotheses, which have since been disproven. Autism affects information processing in the brain by altering how nerve cells and their synapses connect and organize; how this occurs is not well understood. In the DSM V, autism is included within the autism spectrum(ASDs), as is Asperger syndrome, which lacks delays in cognitive development and language, and pervasive developmental disorder, not otherwise specified (commonly abbreviated as PDD-NOS), which was diagnosed when the full set of criteria for autism or Asperger syndrome were not met. 

Early speech or behavioral interventions can help children with autism gain self-care, social, and communication skills. Although there is no known cure, there have been reported cases of children who recovered. Not many children with autism live independently after reaching adulthood, though some become successful. An autistic culture has developed, with some individuals seeking a cure and others believing autism should be accepted as a difference and not treated as a disorder.

Imperfectly perfect

Imperfection:   a fault, blemish, or undesirable feature. 

Perfection!  This word means a lot to everyone. We dream of perfect jobs, perfect homes, heck, perfect bodies. 

 We’re forced into believing that the body size we see in magazines are perfect and every other is not ok . 

We start doing things to achieve that body, we say, “beauty is pain,  so what’s a little bit of hunger”. So we starve, then binge eat, and develop some eating disorder, psychological issues.  

Anorexia nervosa is an eating disorder characterized by weight loss (or lack of appropriate weight gain in growing children); difficulties maintaining an appropriate body weight for height, age, and stature; and, in many individuals, distorted body image. People with anorexia generally restrict the number of calories and the types of food they eat. Some people with the disorder also exercise compulsively, purge via vomiting and laxatives, and/or binge eat.

An inferiority complex is a lack of self-worth, a doubt and uncertainty about oneself, and feelings of not measuring up to standards. It is often subconscious, and is thought to drive afflicted individuals to overcompensate, resulting either in spectacular achievement or extremely asocial behavior. In modern literature, the preferred terminology is “lack of covert Self-esteem”. For many, it is developed through a combination of genetic personality characteristics and personal experiences.

These are but a few problems we suffer just to be termed “Perfect”. This makes me think is it really worth it? 
These psychological problems don’t just appear, it comes from years of comparing our beautiful selves with what the media sees as perfect. Forget that we are canvases that were molded and carved into perfection. 

 

We have flaws but it’s these flaws that define us; makes us who we are. God knows the world would have been boring if we all were alike, even gadgets of the same make comes  in different colors and options so why shouldn’t we? We should be able to look in the mirror and acknowledge our flaws and still say heck yeah I’m beautiful, preserving our self love, our self esteem. There’s no need destroy ourselves just because we don’t like some part of our lives. 

 
We’re imperfectly perfect regardless of what we wear, Who we like, our ethnicity, religious beliefs.
I believe so and you should too.